Aesa and the others were now close enough to the sign outside the inn so that all could read. Vikar sniffed the air while the others read. Aesa read the words on the sign aloud.
"Welcome to the Ragnarok Inn. Rules: No fighting in the Inn. Violators will be disintegrated. No violence allowed within 200 paces of the inn. Violators will be disintegrated. Stealing in the inn is punishable by mounting...(See mounted heads on wall for examples). Management is not responsible for loss of property beyond the confines of the inn. Attempts at interdimensional travel, time-distortion magic or mental telepathy are not advised within the confines of this establishment. Free food, and drinks. Inquire within. Proprietor: Oddthar Helblindi." "Aesa, when did you learn the dwarven language?" asked Ignatius. "I didn't. The sign is written in Thorsen runes." said Aesa. "I see dwarven runes," said Ignatius. "Interesting. We had best be careful. This place sounds dangerous," said Hildagunn. "Perhaps I should wait outside," said Magnus. "Nonsense! You will have a great time Magnus! I am sure they have lots of mead!" said Aesa. They climbed the rickety steps. The door was not wide enough for Vikar to enter now that he was a polar bear. "I guess he will be safe out here," said Sigurd. Vikar growled. Then he pushed past the others. The doorway widened and the door opened as the bear approached. Vikar went inside. The others followed. Nobody looked up to acknowledge a polar bear, a dwarf and a half dozen Norgardians had entered the inn. Magnus looked back in wonder. The inside of the inn was much larger than it appeared on the outside. The bar was a good distance from the front door. The inn had several staircases wrought of iron by master craftsmen who had turned the iron into art. The floors were made of an exotic orange wood polished to a fine sheen. The floors were covered with carpets of exquisite quality and the rarest of firs. The room had breathtaking chandeliers as focal points, but was lit by an unknown source. Mounted on the wall, near the front entrance were the heads of giants, dragons, demons, humans, trolls and unknown creatures. They watched the newcomers with angry eyes. The sound of laughter and conversation was muted by the dulcet tones of a baritone skald. He had dark hair and eyes and no beard. Magnus had never heard a voice so beautiful. It made him think of Valhalla. The denizens of the Ragnarok Inn were varied. There were many other humans. Some were odd, having but one eye. Some dressed in military garb. Some looked like witches and conjurers. There were also trolls. Aesa was drawn to the largest figures in the room. They had to be fire giants. Well over fifteen feet tall, they had black skin with gold, red, or orange eyes. Their hair was red or copper. When they spoke everyone in the room could feel the sonorous tone of their voices. Magnus grabbed Aesa, just as she was about to take off on her own. "Stick together for now. We can get in trouble later, after we know who our foes are," said Magnus. Aesa tried to get away, but it was difficult to run when your feet were off the ground. "Okay Magnus. If you wanted my company so bad, all you had to do was ask," said Aesa. Magnus kept a firm grip on Aesa's shoulder, but lowered her to the floor so she could walk on her own. "Go straight to the bar at the end of the room. Let's negotiate rooms before we do anything else," said Iggy. "What makes you think we are staying?" asked Magnus. "Even if we leave we will want a place to store our things. I doubt we will get run out of here in one night, unless Aesa can't control her mouth," said Ignatius. Aesa was about to tell Ignatius about the fine line between control and murdering a dverge when Magnus covered her mouth. Instead she burbled into Magnus' hand. She tried to bite him, but she realized that her air supply was cut off. She relaxed. Magnus loosened his grip. Aesa bit his thumb. Magnus let go. She kicked the dverge on her way to the bar where she introduced herself to a big man with red hair and a long beard. "I am Aesa. I would like to reserve a room in this fine establishment for my companions, that dverge and my pet polar bear. How much?" "My name is Oddthar Helblindi, proprietor of the Ragnarok Inn. This is my wife Kostbera." he pointed to a dark haired woman with fair skin and deep green eyes. "The rooms rent for seventy-five uppsala pieces per night per person." "Seventy-five? Gold coins?" asked Aesa. "We only trade in gold and precious gemstones here," said Oddthar. "I could get a place like this in Uppsala for fifty uppsala pieces for all my kin," said Aesa. "Does this inn you speak of offer free food and drink, a view of the burial mound of our god Thor and the fine singing of the skald Melnir Harp-tongue?" asked Oddthar. "Perhaps I overstated things. We are willing to pay one hundred uppsala pieces for all of us for one night in your fine establishment." she said. "Listen kid. I offer guaranteed storage of all your treasure and goods for five years. Nobody else does this. I can see you are indigent, so I will drop my price to fifty gold coins per person per night. If you can't pay, I suggest you leave," said the innkeeper. "Deal!" said Aesa. She reached into her pouch and pulled out a large diamond. "How many days is this worth?" she asked. The innkeeper looked at the gem with his glass. "It is worth five days for your entire group," he said. "It is worth six and a half days, but you can keep the change, since I am known for my generosity." said Aesa. "Yrsa, show them to their room. When they are settled summon me and I will show them the roof," said Oddthar. A beautiful little girl with blond hair raced to the bar. Oddthar tossed her a key and she grabbed it without stopping. Finally she stopped on the stairwell and looked back at Aesa and her group. "Come on guys. I want to show you your room now!" "Do you think its a trap?" asked Sigurd. "A cuteness trap," said Hildagunn. "What are you waiting for. Run up the stairs. I bet you can't catch me?" said Yrsa. They hesitated for just a moment, but Aesa ran after her and the others followed close behind just in case she was ambushed by the little imp. The action drew no attention from the crowded inn. They were all busy singing, eating, drinking and gambling. After climbing many steps and walking through a maze of hallways, Yrsa stopped at a big green door with intricate Norse runes on it. She held out the key. Aesa reached for the key but Yrsa did not hand it to her. Instead she touched Aesa's palm with the key and then touched the palms of the other guests and the nose of the polar bear. Each time she touched somebody their hand glowed green for a moment. Yrsa then put the key down her boot. "If any of you touch the door it will open for you. If you get lost just touch a wall and an arrow will appear pointing the way to your room. Call me when you are ready to see the roof. I will be here as fast as I can run," said Yrsa. Aesa offered the girl a gold coin. Yrsa laughed. "You are funny. What would I do with that when I live here?" asked Yrsa. "Save it for when you are older and need it," said Aesa. "Older?" said Yrsa. "Yes, older. When you are an adult you will need coins to buy things," said Aesa. "You are funny! I like you! We are going to be such friends!" said Yrsa. She scrambled off to give the group time to get settled. Aesa pressed her hand to the door and it opened. The interior was larger than Ulfgard. The room housed a dozen beds. There was a fountain in the shape of the Midgard Serpent in the center of the chamber. The room was lit, but the source of the light was unknown same as in the main hall downstairs. There was a stocked pantry with fine porcelain plates and silver and gold tableware. Aesa began pocketing what she could, but there was so much she gave up. The beds were covered in silks and furs. The woodwork was the finest quality. Ignatius began stripping off his armor. "What are you doing?" asked Aesa. "What does it look like I am doing girl, I am taking off this stinkin armor," said Iggy. "I didn't know a dverge went anywhere without armor," said Aesa. "There is a lot you don't know about dwarves," said Ignatius. "He's right. We should all clean up. We should be safe enough inside the inn," said Sigurd. The group dropped their soiled armor and dirty clothes on the beautiful fur rugs and then dressed in their cleanest clothes. When they were through, they noticed their armor and weapons were clean and so were their clothes. "Magic!" said Magnus with a snarl. "Even a bear-shirt like you should appreciate being clean!" said Hildagunn. Magnus did not reply. As he reached down to pick up his clean stuff, it floated off into a closet on its own. The closet engraved itself with the runes that spelled his name. Magnus cursed. "Better get used to it big man. This place is drenched in thaumaturgy," said Aesa. Magnus knew better than to ask what a thaumaturgist did. It couldn't be good. "Should we try to explore the inn a little on our own, before summoning Yrsa?" asked Aesa. "For once, I agree with Aesa. I'd like to understand this place a little better without an escort," said Sigurd. "Agreed!" said Kara. They stepped outside the room. Keen reflexes are what kept them from tripping on Yrsa who was waiting outside the room. "Were you spying on us?" asked Sigurd. "Oh no, that would be rude. I knew you were about to come out though so I decided to come show you the roof now," said Yrsa. "You knew?" asked Sigurd. "Yes," said Yrsa. "How?" asked Sigurd. "How did you know you were ready to leave the room?" asked Yrsa. "We just did," said Sigurd. "Uh-huh," she said. "Nevermind. Aren't you supposed to get your father?" asked Sigurd. "He told me to lead you. He's busy," said Yrsa. "By the gods, lead on then," said Sigurd. Yrsa ran down the hall, beckoning the others to catch up. "I thought you were good with kids," said Kara. "I am!" said Sigurd. "Last one to the roof is a Dentinous Pukje!" exclaimed Yrsa. "What is a Dentinous Pukje?" asked Magnus. "I don't know, but I am not going to be one," said Aesa. She took off running after Yrsa without further comment. "Don't think about it too long Magnus, you will finish last," said Hildagunn as she passed him in the hall at a trot. Magnus raced to catch up. It might be childish, but his competitive spirit would not allow him to finish behind the others. Soon they were on the roof. Magnus bent down on one knee to look less imposing before asking the question that burned in his brain. "What is a Dentinous Pukje?" he asked. Yrsa pointed. Everyone turned as Ignatius reached the top of the stairs panting and wheezing. "I knew it!" said Aesa. Iggy's complexion turned a rosy hue, then he swore. None of them had heard the words before, but Kara tried to cover Yrsa's ears. The little girl ducked and then laughed. "You swear like a fire giant!" said Yrsa. "Is that color from exertion Iggy?" asked Aesa, Iggy turned more red. "I don't think you should do that to your friend. He might not be well," said Yrsa. "He likes it. It reminds him that he has chosen his friends well," said Aesa. "Can I try?" asked Yrsa. "Only Aesa can test the Norns in such a manner. I recommend letting the dverge return to his normal pasty gray color," said Magnus. Yrsa pulled on Magnus' sleeve. He knelt so she could talk at eye level with him. "I want to know your names. She is Aesa. The dwarf is Iggy. What is your name?" asked Yrsa. "I am Magnus Thorsen. These are my kin, Aesa the Lucky, Isgerd the Godi, Sigurd Grimsson, Kara Thorsdottir, and Hildagunn. The dverge is Ignatius and the polar bear is Vikar, a Permian." "Are you really Thor's son?" asked Yrsa. "Are you really including me among your kin?" whispered Hildagunn. "We are all children of Thor. Kara and I claim direct descent from the Thunder god," said Magnus. "Maybe you have a chance then," said Yrsa. "A chance at what?" asked Sigurd. Yrsa opened a door that was not visible a moment ago. "Come. I'll show you," she said. They went through the door and followed a spiral staircase to the roof. When they arrived they could feel the icy breeze and see the clear starry sky. To the north was a great volcano. "The volcano is called Surtur's Anvil. That is where the fire giants live when they are not drinking free ale at our inn. " Yrsa pointed to a huge lens mounted to the roof. "Look through that to the west. Northwest you will see Odin's shrine. It contains the world tree. South of Odin's shrine is Thor's tomb. Look Magnus. See the Obelisk?" Magnus looked, while Aesa pushed to get in front of him. The device began to glow faintly when Magnus touched it, causing him to flinch for a moment. "That is the tomb," Yrsa said. "Keep watching. A group of mercenaries should be within sight of Thor's tomb soon. They didn't listen to me," said Yrsa. "What do you mean?" asked Sigurd. "I told them they needed to go to Odin's shrine first. They didn't like the Odds so they ignored me." she said. "I tend to ignore the odds myself," said Aesa. "Not the odds, the Odds!" said Yrsa. "What?" asked Aesa. "The Odds are the one-eyed worshipers of Odin. They think to achieve wisdom, you need to poke out one of your eyes. People call them Odds. They control traffic to Odin's shrine. You need to go there if you are going to get into the tomb," said Yrsa. "What makes you think we are going to Thor's tomb?" asked Sigurd. "People come to the inn for two reasons, to enter Thor's tomb, or to watch people die trying to enter Thor's tomb. You don't look like spectators to me," said Yrsa. "You are quite knowledgeable for a little girl," said Sigurd. "You learn a lot of things when nobody thinks you are paying attention," she said. "Tell me about those fire giants. Do they enter Thor's tomb?" asked Aesa. "They are just spectators. There! Look now. Those mercenaries are approaching the tomb now. See the obelisk light up? This is when things get interesting." said Yrsa. Everyone huddled around the enormous lens and watched the mercenaries approach. The obelisk lit the field around the mercenaries as if it were mid-day. The sound of battle horns blared loud enough to be heard at the inn. The sound was coming from the tomb, not the mercenaries. There were six mercenaries in all. One of them seemed to be chanting to evoke magical energy. He was enveloped in a golden sphere and sank beneath the earth. He let out a silent scream before disappearing. Another man was running toward the obelisk. There was a loud pulse of sound and his knees were backward and shaped out of proportion. His legs may have snapped from the change and he fell down in pain. The woman next to him changed into a colossal dragon and stomped on his writhing body. When the dragon lifted her foot there wasn't much left of the distorted man. The others attacked the dragon. She drew in an enormous breath and expelled fiery death. The other mercenaries were charred corpses; warnings for future adventurers of the perils of attempting to enter the tomb. The dragon flew off toward Sutur's Helm and the obelisk went dark again. The attempt to enter Thor's tomb had lasted less time than it took Magnus to drink his morning mead. The spectators from the inn said nothing for a few minutes. "Is this how it always ends?" Aesa finally asked. "The magical effects vary, but the outcome is the same. Some flee and survive. Some are driven mad. Most die within the first few moments of entering the magical border surrounding Thor's tomb. None are ever the same," said Yrsa. "If the Norns have decided to cut our journey at Thor's tomb so be it," said Magnus. "Yrsa, you mentioned going to the Shrine of Odin. Do you have any other ideas that will aid us?" said Sigurd. "Talk to mom and dad. They are famous heroes. Talk to the other patrons. Many of them have either made the attempt or know others who have. Perhaps some will aid you," said Yrsa. "Thank you Yrsa, we should enter the bar room and try to learn more," said Sigurd. They followed Yrsa back to the inn lost in their own thoughts. Yrsa skipped as she walked, oblivious to their dark moods. The mood in the mainhall of the inn had not changed. Apparently throwing tankards and singing off key did not constitute an offense punishable by disintegration. Kara was drawn to the singing of Melnir Harp-Tongue. She took a seat near others who were fascinated by his voice. Her kin sat at a table together and ordered mead and food, except for Hildagunn who preferred a quiet spot alone near the innkeepers. Soon they were feasting on mutton and guzzling horns of mead. Aesa's eyes darted around the room as she spoke to her kin, but it was clear she was drawn to the fire giants three tables away. "I'd always thought they'd be taller," she said. "Who?" asked Magnus. "Oh nothing," she said. Magnus watched her eyes. "Aesa, if you disturb those giants I might not be able to kill them all before one of them squashes you," he said. "I am curious," she said. "Your curiosity is a danger to yourself and to everyone else," he said. "Don't worry, I will be back before you know it," she said. Aesa got up without warning and hopped on to the table where the fire giants were drinking. "So in this new game, you take ten humans. You tie them up. You put a rope around their heads to hold them in place and fasten them to the pin setter. They line up in a triangle formation. One in the first row, two in the second and so forth. Then you take a boulder and you toss it from a distance of two hundred feet. The object is to hit as many humans as possible with the boulder, and have their bodies separate from their heads...HAHAHA...I call it...HAHAHAHA...I call it...pin striker," said the giant. "HA HA HA! Why do you call it pin striker? Why not decapitator?" asked another giant. "Because you have to play ten times and tally up your score to see who wins. We run out of humans pretty quick, so you have to pin them back together if you are going to strike them again with your boulder," said the first giant. "HAHAHA!" "Why don't you just craft pins out of metal, bone or wood?" asked Aesa. "Did you just hear a pin offer you advice Lodin?" asked the second giant. "Nah Neri you know I can't hear anything the runt races say since you hit me with that club in the face in last year's stick ball challenge," said Lodin. "HAHAHA You should have seen your face when I missed the ball and knocked your ear off instead!" said Neri. "I ought to take you outside and shove my fist..." said Lodin "Sounds like fun. I'm good at coming up with games. Have you ever heard of Loki's Gamble?" asked Aesa. "Why should we care about your filthy little gods?" asked Lodin. "Because Loki's Gamble is a game where you risk lots of precious gems and gold. Winner takes all. You like gold don't you?" asked Aesa. "We're listening puny pin squeaker," said Lodin. "It's a simple game. There are four of you, plus me. We take five empty tankards. You place your wager inside one of the five tankards. Each round someone shuffles the tankards on the table, trying to deceive the others as to which tankard holds the loot. If you guess right you keep the goods. If you guess wrong the person who shuffles the tankards get to keep the loot," she said. "We'll play. If you cheat, we will try our pin striker game out on you," said Lodin. "I don't want to waste your time boys, so let's start the bidding at one hundred uppsala pieces," said Aesa. "Runt like you got that kind of loot?" asked Neri. Aesa placed a troll-eyed diamond in a tankard and the game began. Kara had never heard such stirring words as those sung by Melnir Harp-Tongue. His performance on the harp made other skalds seem like novices. Some poems inspired her to battle the mightiest foes, others made her want to melt into his bed. She felt as if he were singing directly to her. She realized he was no longer singing. In fact, he seemed to be talking to her. She looked around to be certain and noticed that the other guests were looking at her expectantly. Kara responded weakly, "What?" "My love, I implored, rather boldly I fear, if I might be graced with the sound of your name...if you would, might I know what you are called?" asked Melnir. "Kara," she shouted then more quietly repeated "Kara." "This is a very old lay handed down from my forefathers, kings from Uppsala. It is a poem of love," he said. He began to strum on his harp. It reminded Kara of how the Valkyries must sound. She melted into the words he sang. Kara I shall go out today, and fight for thee on the heather, Kara I shall win glory today, fighting with other brave warriors, Kara I won honor today, ten men fell dead on my spear head Kara...Kara, the last sound from my lips, when I fell there upon the heather. The applause woke Kara from her dream. It was not welcome, other than it readied her for the next poem Melnir would sing. His smile belonged to her. She began to resent when his eyes turned to another. "As many of you know, Hel's Hall is very close to here. I would like to sing for you a mead of this place. First I will sing it in the original Odinsen language. Then I will sing it in the Thorsen tongue," he said. Dok ver ser kos'va'da/sven ser dra'mi'nik/dos ser vin Helgar Hel Vin Stris Thor der ganna/ser dram inna lumma Sven ser dra'mi'nik/dos ser vin Helgar Hel Lo' Stris Thor der sin/tyrgromma der fusin Sven serdra'mi'nik/dos ser vin Helgar Hel Un Stris Thor der slerdik/ser worrid un grimmik Sven ser dra'mi'nik/dos ser vin der helgar Hel Un leffin fer udvar/ ser dra'mi'nik dos ver/dos ner vin Helgar Hel. "And in Thorsen," he said. He began to strum his harp. Dark is the boundary, from under the daylight, the entrance to Hel's Hall, Then Thor he came running, so deep in the earth, From under the daylight, past the entrance to Hel's Hall, Behold! Great Thor he does tremble with fierce battle lust, From under the daylight, long past the entrance to Hel's Hall, And Mighty Thor did slaughter, a serpent most horrid, From under the daylight, the darkness ran fearful, deep underneath Hel's Hall, And he left there forever, from under the darkness, ne'er return he to Hel's Hall. Kara wanted to hear more...much more. She followed Melnir's voice into the music and became part of the tale as it unfolded in her mind. Magnus was not as content as Kara. While he listened to the words of the skald from a distance, it blended in with the booming laughter of the fire giants. Somehow Aesa had not managed to be killed yet. Magnus began to think the Norns had fallen asleep because these stupid giants actually seemed to be enjoying her antics. Magnus knew his luck was not equal to Aesa but he was bored. Rather than get in the way he had been watching a group of Odds who had entered the inn. They seemed to be minding their own business. Magnus thought, it works for Aesa, maybe I can make some new friends. What harm could it do? So he excused himself from his friends and walked over to their table. "I am Magnus Thorsen of Norgard. It would please me to join your table and drink mead with you," he said. "Son of Thor, what makes you think you are welcome among Odin's faithful?" said a large one-eyed man. "Odin is all-father. The sons of Thor revere him. We fight for his glory," said Magnus. "Sit then, you are putting a crick in my neck," said the man. Magnus smiled. It was the warm, infectious grin he bore moments before he put his ax through someone's skull. He sat down. The other men were big, but still needed to look up to talk to him. "I have given you my name as honor requires. Might I know who you are?" asked Magnus, who was still smiling. The Odd hesitated. He noticed a gleam in this giant northman's eye that hinted at barely contained rage, despite the simpleton's smile on his face. "Well met Magnus, scion of Thor. I am Gruumsh, exulted leader of the Odds and guardian of Odin's shrine," he said. "Friend Gruumsh, I am not a speaker of fine words. I will confront you with my desire. I have heard that you can take me to see the Shrine of Odin. I must see it," Magnus said. "I would be delighted to escort you to the Shrine of Odin. We have many guests. Some of them are rather clumsy and have done damage to the shrine and the world tree. Therefore, I am sad to inform you I must charge you fifty uppsala pieces if you would like to see it...I need the coin in advance," said Gruumsh. Magnus reached into his pack. The Odds backed their chairs away from the table expecting violence. Magnus ignored them and grabbed a large sack from his pack and tossed it on the table. It jingled musically with the melody of many coins shifting as the sack struck the table. "One thousand uppsala pieces. You will take me and my kin tomorrow. I hope to please Odin with my offer," said Magnus as he sat back down. The Odds licked their lips eagerly as they opened the sack to look at so much gold. At that moment a man walked through the doors of the inn. The normally apathetic patrons of the inn turned to look at him, and even Melnir Harp-Tongue stopped playing. Decked in bronze and black leather, he stood over ten feet tall. He wore a belt with a dozen wands in holsters, but his most impressive weapon was a multi-bladed bastard sword made from some black metal. His skin was a striking deep red and his eyes were aflame. A twisted set of sharp horns wound under a black derby covering his black hair. "Lookin for the men who found the key to Thor's tomb. You can hand me the key peaceably and I might letcha live with maybe only a few missing limbs to show for it...or you can sit back there making puddles of yourselves on the floor and I will extract the key from your rotten sack of skin," he said. Magnus began to draw himself up from the table when Gruumsh reached out his arm to hold him down. Gruumsh shook his head no. "This one will send you straight to Hel," he whispered. The helspawn spoke again. "Oddball is right. I'm a bad man. Media Morta sent me to get this damn key and I ain't leavin till I get the key or bust every damn head in the joint," he said. Magnus stood and pulled out his ax. "Your words are offensive. You spit them out along with whatever dung you ate for supper. Know that Magnus Thorsen sent your body back to your master with an ax in your skull as a gift," he said. "Magnus Thorsen. Heh. You bring a tear to my eye. Didn't think there were any men left in Midgard. Your boast will be your last, but I am proud of you son. Nobody else had enough manhood to look me in the eye before dying," he said. The helspawn pulled one of his wands quick as lightning and blasted it in Magnus' direction. Magnus barely dodged the blast. It struck a fire giant in the chest leaving a gaping hole in him. The giant fell dead. When he fell the patrons could see that the hole continued through the bar and beyond into the wall behind it. Yrsa leaped onto the bar near the damage. She grimaced, but was wielding a massive double barreled silver device, far too big for her. "You broke the rules Ebolix. No fighting is allowed in the inn. Sorry," she said. She fired the weapon, knocking herself off the bar and into the back wall. There was a loud concussion and a blast of light and smoke. All that remained of Ebolix was his derby. Somebody rushed over and put the derby on their head. The patrons of the inn began laughing. Gruumsh pulled Magnus back down. "Sit down before the girl targets you too. You that eager to go to Valhalla? Won't be much fun if you are a greasy speck on the floor of the great meadhall in the sky," he said. Magnus looked back. The damage in the bar and wall were already healing. Yrsa grabbed a bucket and mop to clean the spot where Ebolix had been standing. Oddthar and his wife were lost in conversation with Hildagunn and seemed uninterested in the recent encounter. Gruumsh ordered drinks for the table, and Magnus settled with his new friends. "Idiot," said Sven. Sven Odinsen was a captain of the guard from the great city of Uppsala. He introduced himself to Sigurd when they were both trying to hail the same mead-maiden for a new round of drinks. He was now sitting with Sigurd, Vikar and Ignatius who were all deep in their cups. "Magnus? he grows on you," said Sigurd. "No, I mean Ebolix," Sven said. "Looked like he could back up his big mouth," said Sigurd. Sigurd drank again from his tankard. "He was a bounty hunter. Ebolix should have known better than to come to this place with weapons drawn," he said. "Fredgin demon got what he deserved," belched Ignatius. "More likely helspawn. Abysinal scum don't try to negotiate,"said Sven. "I don't need no lessons in demoncraft from a human," said Ignatius. "No offense, master dverge, he can be whatever creature you prefer," said Sven. "Pfft! I prefer? Pah! I know a demon when I look him in the eyes or I am no dwarf," said Ignatius. "We need to learn more about this Media Morta. Sounds like he's got it out for us," said Sigurd. "Keep your head down next time someone comes in here looking for the key, and you will be fine. Media Morta doesn't know where you are or she would have sent a company of helspawn warriors to bring back your bodies," said Sven. "She? I heard Media Morta was a man. What kind of thrim have people been telling you Sven?" asked Iggy. "You are right of course. Nobody meets Media Morta and lives to talk about it. Nobody can know for sure, but no woman could do the things I've heard rumored," said Sven. "Pah! I know a woman that can seer your soul with her tongue," said Ignatius. "Sounds intriguing. I do not have a companion tonight. Where can I meet this woman?" asked Sven. "Ha! Trust me son, you don't want to meet her, and if you have dreams of anything other than torment from her you are wasting your imagination," said Iggy. "Be nice Iggy, that is my kinswoman you are talking about," said Sigurd. Iggy spit some beer in response. "Sorry son, I didn't mean to thrim in your shoe. You know she chafes my skin," said Iggy. "She has that effect on everyone. She must really like you to be giving you so much trouble," said Sigurd. "Well don't tell her I like her or I'll suffer ten fold...and then I'll have to kill you for running your mouth," said Iggy as he finished another tankard. "Your secret is safe with me," said Sigurd and he looked at Sven for confirmation. "Um, me too. I won't say a word," said Sven. Iggy looked uncomfortable. Sigurd was unsure if it was the topic of Aesa but the dverge got up from the table suddenly. "I'll be back. Enjoy the drink without me son. I need to find some lost baggage...I mean I need to lose some excess baggage...you know what I gotta do," he spurted. "I don't want to guess," said Sigurd who watched amused as Ignatius marched unbalanced toward the exit. "Does he know the Ragnarok inn has internal plumbing for convenience?" asked Sven. "HA! Looks like the answer is no," said Sigurd as he drank more mead. "Should I tell him?" asked Sven. "HAHA! Let him use the outhouse. I am sure the cold air will do him good," said Sigurd. "He didn't take the key with him?" asked Sven. "To the outhouse? No! Oh is he going to be mad," said Sigurd. "No, the key to Thor's tomb," said Sven in a low voice. "Aesa has the key. She wouldn't let the dverge near it," said Sigurd. "Aesa and he don't get along?" he asked. "They've become very close, they just like to insult each other," said Sigurd. "Strange," he said. "All of my kin are strange, that is what makes them interesting travel companions," said Sigurd. Vikar let out a deep belch which startled Sigurd and Sven. Vikar had been lapping spilled drinks for several hours. "I forgot he was there," laughed Sigurd. "Another strange kinsmen?" Sven asked. "Vikar is a Permian...was a Permian...before he became a bear, or a rug...ha ha," said Sigurd. "Interesting," said Sven. "Permians are interesting, pee-pull." Sigurd snorted. The snort triggered a cascade of laughter. When he was done he passed out. Sven patted him on the head. "Thank you for the drink, my mistress will be pleased we have become such good friends," Sven said in comforting tones. Sigurd was snoring. Even Vikar had closed his eyes, twitching, lost in dreams of a seal hunt or a night out on the ice flow. Isgerd's kin had wandered off to other conversations or were heavily drinking. She kept looking at the table where a large troll was eating huge quantities of meat. The troll was larger than any Isgerd had seen in battle. Once the troll seemed to notice Isgerd was staring and looked in her direction. Isgerd looked away. Her curiosity eventually won the battle over her caution and she approached the troll. "Well Skraekoom do you like what you see?" asked the troll. "I know what that means," said Isgerd. "Then you know I have nothing to say to you," said the troll. "My apologies. I did not mean to offend you by my presence. It was my hope that we might benefit from an exchange of ideas and culture," said Isgerd. The troll spit her mutton across the room. "Cultural exchange? You Skraepizt have already benefited from a cultural exchange with trolls. How did you get those troll-eyed diamonds? Those troll weapons? Did trolls willingly exchange them at one of your peace gatherings?" asked the troll. "This is why I wish to talk to you. I sense great troubles coming. I believe both our peoples will be annihilated if we do not form alliances," said Isgerd. "Ally with the Skraepizt? HAHAHA! We tried that. You are not an enlightened people. You settle your disputes by taking what is not yours, and desecrating holy shrines," said the troll. Isgerd had a tear in her eye. "I...I am sorry. Some humans really are wretched. Most are just misguided and fearful. We need to learn to trust other races. If our people are to survive into the future we need to change. Change can start with one smile...one handshake," said Isgerd. "You have not told me how you got those troll treasures and weapons. Trolls do not hand over manblades to your kind," said the troll. "They were gained in glorious combat fighting a troll near Whiting. The troll and his pukje allies attacked us as soon as we landed on the beach. This troll killed many men before my kin ended his days in Midgard," said Isgerd. "How was his body treated after you butchered him and took his possessions?" said the troll. "We placed him on a cairn, facing the sea near a large troll shrine and left grave goods," said Isgerd. "What was his name. No troll of any worth would have battled without announcing his name so the gods would know to watch him in combat," said the troll. "His name was Reikov," said Isgerd. "Yes. He was a champion of troll dignity and culture. Did you also acquire a tome from his home?" the troll asked. "Yes, we had placed it on Reikov's cairn but one of my kin took the book without our blessing. She wanted to learn the troll language. It was called A History of our People...wait...you knew Reikov," asked Isgerd. "Reikov was my life-mate. I am now a widow," said the troll. "But that means...you are..." "I am Doskev, daughter of Ikashev the Wise," she said Isgerd bowed. She expected Doskev to kill her on the spot. Isgerd waited for the blow. "Sit down human. You think we are savages. We are not. Sorlev once said, to be troll is to know peace, to be troll is to fight for enlightenment. The fact that my life-mate is dead proves we have learned nothing from our ancestors," said Doskev. Isgerd joined Doskev at her table. Doskev ordered mead for Isgerd and another large platter of meat for herself. While they waited for the food, Melnir Harp-Tongue sang about Odin's Helm. He sang, Flock of dark ravens, battle-ready, blood-seekers, claws spear-sharp Flooding the Valkyrie playground, Lusting for the two left standing Former enemies these two kings, Odin All-Father and Thor Foe-Death Fiendish legions smacking lips in anticipation, Thor merely laughs Four thousand fiends fell face-down, final dirt-nap, Thor's blade was not slow Finally Thor hands the battle to Odin, takes a deep drink of mead, lake drainer and rests Forever forward, Thor battles from Valhalla, proven prowess, foe-shaker Four thousand fiends remain, battle-hungry, eaters of God-flesh Face of Odin, now embraced, Golden Helm, World Shaker Fear, Fierce-fiery, licks the fiends, cleansing-Odin joins Thor-Glory lies for wolves. The song ended as food arrived for Doskev. She seemed angry. "This legend is puk-sla-mot! Skraepizt gods claim to have made trolls from the magical rendering of their mortal bodies. Trolls have always been. We have excelled in the arts, culture and religion since the beginning of all things. We were here before those gods," said Doskev. "This helm sounds powerful. Do you think it still exists?" asked Isgerd. "It is a myth," said Doskev. Isgerd watched Doskev consume more meat than Magnus could eat in a day with awe. "Disgusting isn't it?" asked Doskev. "No. Pardon my poor manners. You can eat more meat than anyone I have met." said Isgerd. "I am revolted by it. I have no choice. We trolls are vegetarians. Females eat meat just before giving birth. We can not control it. Like all enlightened beings, we have very low birth rates. I have been carrying this child for several years. Now it is nearly time for my child to be born," said Doskev. "What will you name it?" asked Isgerd. "Reikov if male, Reikev if female. I would wait for the matron-elders to name her but I will not make it to my lands before the child is born," said Doskev. "You do not look pregnant," said Isgerd. "Trolls do not show the same weaknesses as Skraekoom. Although I wish we could vomit like you when you are pregnant so I could expel this disgusting meat from my body," said Doskev. Isgerd laughed. "Look into the mirror by the bar. Don't look directly at it, or you will see nothing. Look out of the corner of your eye while pretending to talk to me," said Doskev. Isgerd did as she was told. There was a gray shadow darting around, as if trying not to be seen. Its shape and size were impossible to judge. "What is it?" asked Isgerd. "It is a sembling. They are assassins, thieves and spies. That one has been watching you and your kin for hours," said Doskev. "I should gather my kin and leave. There are forces who want us dead," Isgerd said. "He could have killed you one at a time hours ago. If you are his target, I am puzzled by his hesitation," said Doskev. "I will pray to the gods. Perhaps they will aid me to understand what must be done," said Isgerd. Doskev reached past Isgerd with a speed that seemed impossible for one so large. Her leathery deep brown hand held something fast in its grasp. "Aaaaaaaaaaagghrrrrrorffff! PleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseletmegoIpromisenottoharmyoureallyitwasallamistakepleasepleasepleaseplease,"it said. "If you want to live, speak slower," said Doksev. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagghrrrrrrorfffffffffffffffffffff! Okayokayokay. Iwilltry. Please....da...da...da..don'tkillme," it said. "Five seconds. If you don't speak slower before my next hunger pain I will carry you outside and turn you into jelly," said Doskev. "Please. Don't. Kill. Me," the creature pleaded. "Good. Now we can talk. We have established you do not want to die. Next we will determine whether you can fabricate a reason why you should continue to survive," said Doskev. The creature passed out. Doskev did not let go of him. "Typical sembling tactic. If he urinates on me, I will risk disintegration. Sembling piss stains everything and these are my best garments," said Doskev. "Poor thing. I feel sorry for him. Maybe he was being forced to go after us," said Isgerd. "Don't feel sorry for him, semblings only love money," said Doskev. "This may be, but let me talk to him when he comes out of his stupor," said Isgerd. "Then start your interrogation. He is faking," said Doskev. "Mr. Sembling, my friend wants to kill you. If you are not honest with me, I do not think I can stop her. But if you have some information that we find valuable, we will let you live," said Isgerd. The sembling opened one eye and said, "Aaaaaaaaaaggggghrrrrorffffffff!" "We have established that fact already. Perhaps you should start by telling me your name," said Isgerd. "Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ok-ok-sa-sa-sa-sa-ok-ok. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggghrrrrrorffffff!" it said. "What kind of name is pa-pa-pa..." "My. Name. Is. Poksok. Pleasepleasepleaseplease don't ka-ka-ka-please don't...I want to live," said Poksok. "Well now we are getting somewhere. Your name is Poksok and you want to live," said Isgerd. Poksok nodded like a fishing boat's bow in a storm. "Why are you trying to kill us?" asked Isgerd. "Aaaaaaaaaggggorffffffff! Nonononononono! No! We want you dead, notme," said Poksok. "We not you?" asked Isgerd. "When they are nervous they talk about others in first person. It is very confusing," said Doskev. "Who wants us dead?" asked Isgerd. "Mmmammammmaaa. Mmmeeeeediammaammaa.... "Media Morta?" asked Isgerd. Poksok nodded rigorously. "He hired you?" Poksok nodded so fast his eyes became a blur on his face. "What happens if you don't kill us?" asked Isgerd. Poksok passed out. If Doskev hadn't been gripping his wrist his head would have struck the floor. A wet spot formed in the crotch of his pants. "Disgusting sembling! Finish your questioning of him. His piss is making my eyes water." said Doskev. "It's okay Poksok. We will protect you," said Isgerd. Doskev poured cold water over the sembling from a bucket near the table. The sembling sputtered. "Maybe that will help with the smell. At least he is conscious again," said Doskev. "Poksok, we can protect you. If you promise not to be trouble, we can help you," said Isgerd. "I...I...I..can come with you?" asked Poksok. "Don't promise him that," said Doskev. "Yes, you can come with me. I will personally protect you," said Isgerd. Poksok passed out. Doskev let go of him and his head clunked off the floorboards. "He's your problem now. I hope you know what trouble you've made for yourself," said Doskev. "Trouble? He's kind of cute," said Isgerd. "Another defense mechanism. They aren't so cute when they puke in your boots because they think you are mad at them," said Doskev. "Personal experience?" asked Isgerd. "Semblings latch on to anyone they think is powerful enough to save them," said Doskev. "Save them? From what?" asked Isgerd. "From themselves." said Doskev. "You have saved my life today, and all we have done is taken from you. If you are here tomorrow, I wish to give you something," said Isgerd. "I will be here, unless I have given birth," said Doskev. "Good. Well met friend Doskev! I shall see you tomorrow," said Isgerd. "Do not leave without taking your sembling with you," said Doskev. Isgerd dragged Poksok to the table where Sigurd and Vikar were passed out. "Friend with a Skraekoom? Must be the pregnancy making me delirious," Doskev mused to herself. When the morning came she would leave this strange inn and head back to her people and forget about violent humans who show compassion and semblings that don't murder for money. |
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